Another Winter Holiday

Then – January 4, 1998

Today I got the delivery which I was supposed to receive yesterday.  I received 20 roses for 20 days until he and I see each other.  What a very sweet gesture.  They are absolutely beautiful.  I feel a bit melancholy today.  I’m not sure why.  Tomorrow I give notice at work.  I feel a bit of trepidation.  This is such a huge change in my life.  I’m going to get some sleep.  Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.  I am really worried about moving the cat.  I hope I’m doing the right thing.

Now –

2012 was such an emotional year. I am glad to put it behind me, but I don’t want to forget all that has happened and how I got to this point.  We just returned from our annual winter holiday.  We all enjoyed our trip to the mountains to ski.  There was no way I could face Grand Cayman after last year.  This year there were no big discussions about our marriage.  Just a family trying to hold it together.  I cannot foresee what 2013 will bring, but I have hope.  So many families are being broken up by divorce – and not without effort being put into sustaining them.  At what point do you decide it’s over?  How do you bring yourself to tell your children?  I don’t want this to be my family.  I’m holding on.  I hope I’m doing the right thing.

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