Love of My Life

Then – January 10, 1998

So maybe finding those feelings won’t be a problem.  I’m sitting here at his office looking out at the Empire State Building.  Okay, so really I’m looking at him.  Yes, I think this could be the start of something very special.  I’m not sure I’m going to be able to bear leaving him on Sunday.  I’m positive I’ve never been happier in my entire life.  So this is how it’s supposed to be.  It only took me 30 years to find it.  I’m lucky.  I’m sure some never do.  I never thought I would.

New York is going to take some getting used to.  I’m sure I’ll do fine.  I’m actually looking forward to starting my career over again.  I’m eager to start my life here.  I can’t wait to move in.  The apartment is really growing on me.  I am looking forward to figuring it out and finding room for my stuff.  I need to scale back yet again.  At least this time it’s for a very good reason.

I spoke with his sister, who has been my friend since childhood today.  She sounded concerned at the very least about us acting so quickly on moving in together.  I think he put it best when he said “we just won’t mess up”.  I know I will do everything in my control to make this work.  You don’t just let the love of your life go anywhere.  And he is just that.  I can’t begin to explain how happy being with him makes me.

Now –

Thirteen years later and I’m still determined not to mess it up.  As you will soon see, 2012 nearly brought the end of our relationship.  While I believe my husband’s mood swings hit an all time low, I take partial responsibility for our relationship’s deterioration as well.  Three of our family’s friend’s homes are being split up by divorce.  All I can think of is that for now my marriage is surviving.  I’m just glad not to be one of those families.  Why are there so many?  Why is marriage so difficult?  Is it true that the person who may seem perfect for us to procreate with may not be the perfect person to grow old with?

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