Then and Now –
For over a year I have been reminded by the photo on his desktop of our Christmas vacation to Grand Cayman in 2011, when he told me that he no longer wanted to work on our marriage. I was relieved that he was agreeable to me staying in the house to be with the kids, even if he thought our marriage was over. I took a photo of him and the children at the Botanical Gardens on this trip. I felt so separated from them on the other side of the camera. The look in his eyes in the picture is a constant reminder of the pain I felt at that time. I have to look at it every day.
Feeling stronger after the hug and my cry, I asked him to change the picture on his desktop and explained why. He at first was adamant that the picture was taken over a year ago and it shouldn’t bother me. I told him in many ways I was still in the same place we were a year ago, and that looking in his eyes in the picture I could still see all the hatred that he seemed full of at the time. He said it was his computer and that he didn’t tell me what to put on mine. He said he didn’t have a picture to replace it with yet. I proceeded to show him several pictures from our trip this past Christmas. One picture even had me in it. Wonder if he’ll change it.