Arm’s Length

Then – June 17, 1998

It’s really storming.  It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a lightning storm.  It’s very dramatic and clearing, even if it is preventing me from walking to the gym.  I’ll see if it passes.  I’m very excited, but I was bad.  I bought some new clothes.  I spent way too much money, but hey – it’s only credit card debt right?  I just needed some summer clothes and something to wear tomorrow night.  We have an evening event for work to announce our company’s name change.  I like our new name and logo.  It’s much more professional.

My boyfriend and I are at arm’s length this week.  It’s good.  We probably needed some space.  I love him very much, but sometimes we just don’t get along too well.  I wish we did.  I bought myself a new journal this week and a new book called “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up”.  Just learned that one of my friends has it too.  I knew it was her kind of book when I bought it.  Sometimes I feel like I need to work on myself.  I hope the book helps.  I also want to start writing my own book.  I hope I can get a computer soon.

Now – Six months into our relationship so many years ago and still talk of a book.  Don’t remember when I finally got a computer.  Hard to imagine not having one.  Writing has definitely been therapeutic for me.  Looking back over these journal entries from 15 years ago helps to remind me of where I came from and how I got here.  Maybe it will help me move forward in a productive way.  One day at a time.

It’s Father’s Day weekend as I write this.  Once again he managed to make his own cupcakes.  Why when I try to do something nice for him does he have to sabotage it?  At least he liked his gifts.  Dinner out with the kids was actually enjoyable.  They are getting older and able to sit through an adult dinner out.   I really like the fact that they are willing to try new things.

If I could only find some way for my husband and I to be closer than arm’s length, we’d be trying something different too.

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