Holding on to Lost Pieces

Then – July 3, 1998

We finally got a holiday.  Memorial Day was good in Seattle with my mother, but too rushed and not restful.

Yesterday after work we spent some time at home.  I got a run in and he rollerbladed.  It took about 4 hours to get down here to Cape May.  A lot of traffic, yet the ride did not seem too long.  Our bed and breakfast is cute, but the room is small.  He was very cute by the beach today.  We had breakfast and walked the beach and in the town a little.  We are off now to golf about 1 hour away.  Hopefully it’s a small little place with no one there.  I need a lot of practice before the tournament for work.  I hope it’s at least fun.  Golf lessons are going okay.  I really think I may be improving a little.  We’ll see today.  Rollerblading is another story.  I really need to boost my confidence level.  It’s not that I don’t like it – I just need to improve a lot.  These are my two goals for the summer – golf and rollerblading.  In the fall we’ll tackle ballroom dance.

I do love him so much. I enjoy being with him.  I think we are becoming more relaxed around each other.  I want this relationship to work.  I want to make him happy.

More then…   July 5, 1998

Golf was a lot of fun.  I really started to get addicted towards the end.  I hope we can hit some balls before our lesson on Wednesday.  Friday evening we had dinner at a bar, as most places were closed for dinner.  I had a salad. It was pretty good.

On the Fourth of July we drove up to Atlantic City.  Not bad, but not great.  It’s nice because it’s on the water, but that’s about it.  We played a little computer poker and 21 and walked the boardwalk.  Last night we had dinner at Stumpos, an Italian restaurant.

Today we are off to visit some Indian friends who live outside of Princeton.  It will be neat to see how much their baby son has grown.  We have had a good trip together.  He’s been very attentive and sweet.  I love him so much.


Now – Blood pressure has not been high for over a week.  In fact, it’s back to its low self.  I have stopped taking the tranquilizers and I am sleeping fine.  I could have popped an extra one in the car on the way home from NYC though.  His driving is really quite scary at times.  NYC was fabulous.  I always feel like I’ve found a little piece of myself there that was lost.  The trick is to hold on to it.

I’m on the clean side of the laundry pile and have stocked the kitchen.  I snuck in a pedicure on a grocery run and brought home a chicken for dinner (conveniently already cooked).  I’ve also immersed myself in the magazines I thought I would have time to read on the trip, but didn’t.  Still not sure what I want to be when I grow up, but I love looking at the art and antiques articles.  I’m sorry I missed the James Turrell exhibit at the Guggenheim.  Maybe I can get back there before September or see him at the LACMA.

We are maintaining some equanimity in our relationship, both making an effort.  I’m on my way downstairs to climb back into bed to ensure some added equanimity on this rainy Fourth of July.

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