Then – August 2, 1998 Denver was boring. Our company needs to learn how to train. Our youth really showed. I didn’t even get to see much of the city. What I did see was not exciting.
I am going to get an early bonus! The check didn’t come so I got a $500 gift certificate. I chose Macy’s.
My sister is coming this Friday. I can’t wait. I’m sure he will be on his best behavior. Sometimes he’s like two different people.
I made dinner last night – just salad, bread, garlic spread and poppy seed cake. It was not bad for a hot evening. Marcus seemed to like it, but I never really know.
Why does loving him make me sad? Is it because I’m not really happy? Do I feel trapped? Where else would I go? Back to California no doubt. I can’t wait to go visit for Thanksgiving.
It’s so nice here in the park. You need to get away when you live in NYC. It’s just way too much cement. We are off to golf tonight. I’m not feeling all that chummy with him, but hopefully I’ll play a good round.
He paid for me to get a massage today. It wasn’t as good as the previous massage, but it was relaxing. Sometimes I feel guilty accepting things from him. Will that go away?
Now – I recently got back from a long weekend with my daughter to visit her cousins in Florida. He was less than friendly when I called him and our son at home on Friday. On Saturday I smartened up and called my son on the house phone. I figured if he wanted to talk to our daughter he could call her. By Sunday he was calling us and even wanted to talk to me when I answered and suggested I get our daughter on the phone. It’s a small example, but it shows that I have little to do with his moods. I wasn’t there for three days. At least his mood improved for our return home!
Some times he’s like two different people. I am doing better giving him his space when he’s the person I’d rather not be around. Problem is that when he comes around, I don’t necessarily feel eager to jump back in his space.