Becoming the Exact Opposite

Then – August 10, 1998

Wow!  Another week has gone by.  I’m so tired.  My sister came for the weekend.  I had missed her.  It felt good to talk.  We had fun at the park, going shopping, eating breakfast at Tea and Sympathy, and riding in the golf cart smoking cigars.  I hope we both find the happiness we deserve –  even if we don’t deserve it!

Now – I got an eye roll a couple days ago and it didn’t fare well for him.  I think I just keep things bottled up and then when something goes awry, I get even more upset than it deserves.  He was very conciliatory and even suggested we go out on our own last weekend.  We went.  It was okay.   We went out to eat somewhere we used to frequent quite often.  Sometimes I feel like we are in a business relationship more than in a marriage.  I really just want some companionship, but am likely to avoid being with him unless it is as a family.  It just doesn’t seem like he has a lot to offer and he really doesn’t seem to want what I have to contribute.

Recently I saw a comic in the New Yorker magazine.  I think it sums it up perfectly.  It’s caption read with the woman saying, “When, exactly, did all the stuff you love about me become all the stuff you hate about me?”.  In a way it was comforting because apparently I’m not the only one who feels like I’ve become the exact opposite of what he wanted in a wife.

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