Disjointed

Then – December 14, 1998

It was a good and bad week.  I am enjoying being home and got a lot done.  I don’t feel bored yet!  Thursday was tough.  We went to Connecticut and couldn’t get the car registered or get a license as we needed more information.  We will go back in a few days.  We saw the Nutcracker with a friend last weekend.  We also went with our friends and some of their children to DC to see the Van Gogh exhibit.  Fun train ride, amazing exhibit and great night in Georgetown.

I can’t believe this year is coming to a close.  It has been such a wonderful year.  I don’t want it to end.  I hope the coming years are just as good.  I love Marcus so much.  I want us to be happy.  It scares me how much I want this.

I can’t believe I stay at home and don’t work.  It seems to take some stress off our relationship.  I am so thankful for all that has happened.

Now – As I read my journal entry from a year ago, what I notice is that we were a couple fifteen years ago.  We did things together, went places, and planned for the future together.  Now our lives seem so disjointed.  We each do our own thing, come together as a family to be good parents, but that seems like the extent of it.  We are maintaining, but not growing.

We went to a party last night and from the time we walked in, until we left a couple of hours later, I never saw him.  It’s not like all couples stayed together, but our paths never crossed.  I had invited him to get a drink with me at the bar when we walked in, but he declined and then I was swept up with friendly faces and holiday hugs.  Spitefully then I think, let him fend for himself and he does.  I see him talking to a gentleman from a small gathering at our house the night before.  I move on to say hi to others and that’s the last I see of him until I gather the children to leave.  Awkward.

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