Then – September 7, 1998
Another week has gone by. Today is Labor Day. It’s been a good weekend. I’m dreading going to Boulder for work though. It could be fun too… oh well. Hopefully Marcus and I will know more about going to London soon. He may need to go for work. I will sneak along. I really want to go.
We went shopping Saturday at the outlets with Marcus’ clients. Marcus got me lots of new stuff. He takes very good care of me. We also went to a tennis match. We saw Steffi Graff lose to Patty Schnyder and another match. It was very relaxing and a beautiful night.
Marcus and I are doing well. We got a little out of whack Friday night. Miscommunication and I over reacted of course. We settled it rapidly however. I think we are doing better. I love him so much.
Now – Another Labor Day has come and gone. We headed to a lake so that our son could do some fishing. He has more focus fishing than anything else I’ve ever seen him tackle. He caught a ton of little fish. I think next time we will go after something bigger. It was very relaxing being on the water. It really all worked out better than I had planned. We kayaked, canoed, fished and then headed to a park with waterfalls on the way home.
Although things went well over the weekend even between my husband and me, it’s largely because Marcus is reacting to the fact that I have given him six months notice that I would like to file for a divorce. We had agreed to this six month period prior to either of us filing for a divorce a year and a half ago. It was my suggestion because I just couldn’t figure out why he wanted a divorce so badly and then backed out. I didn’t feel like I could live day to day wondering when he would change his mind and decide he wanted a divorce after all. Now I am the one having to live by the six month agreement. It is probably for the best not to rush into anything too quickly.
He suggested counseling, but I am not that committed any longer. I told him that if he would like to go to counseling and if I saw him make some improvements that I would join him or we could find another counselor to see together. He seems to think he can make this work on his own, but after 15 years why would he think that? He will only fall into his old habits and I will be glad I gave him fair warning. I have an appointment with one attorney and plan to schedule another. I just want to be sure I have my bases covered when the time comes.
My therapist had said that I would know when it was time. I’m feeling pretty sure it’s time. His effort this weekend seems too little too late, but then there are the kids to think about. I’ll give him a chance, but my heart is not in it.