London – How It Can Be So Good

Only about then – October 25, 1998

We’re in London.  The trip yesterday was easy.  We left New York at 9pm and arrived in London at 8am.  I slept most of the trip.  The hotel is great (Intercontinental).  We had a bite to eat, slept, went to the British Museum for a little and then to Covent Garden.  I had the best hot chocolate.  We walked forever to the river and to see Big Ben and Buckingham Palace.  It was a long walking trip, but very scenic and it wasn’t rainy!  Today I’m not sure what we are going to do.  It’s already 12:30 and I’m not dressed!

Later – We just got home from our day.  It was great except I was a little tired.  We went to get theater tickets but they didn’t have any for “ART”.  We went and had breakfast and then found the theater where ART is playing and bought tickets for 5pm.  We went back to the British Museum and finished the Egyptian portion and also saw some marble statues and reliefs from the Parthenon.  I was really tired so we went back towards the theater and had tea and scones.  We saw ART staring George Wendt, Stacey Keach and David Dukes.  It was one act and only three actors.  We walked to Piccadilly Circus and came home to order some room service.  Good day.  I love being with Marcus so much.  He makes me so happy.

October 26, 1998

We’ll we didn’t end up getting room service after all.  We went to the Observatory (lounge in hotel) and had tea and dinner.  Yummy!  We then came back and had a very good night together including some American football.  We talked about getting engaged to be married after the holidays.  Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve all that has happened to me and where my life has gone.  I am so happy and so in love.

Today we didn’t do much, but it was still busy.  We awoke to calls from the clients here in London.  We got up and ready and went to the aquarium.  We took the subway to Waterloo Station and ate breakfast on the steps.  Waterloo is where we will also get the train to Paris.  The aquarium was okay.  Not as spectacular as Monterey.  We walked across the Westminster Bridge and headed home to check for messages from Marcus’s clients.  We then went to a coffee shop which we had seen Saturday morning in Mayfair.  It’s in one of our tour books.  Yummy.  We came home and went shopping in Knightsbridge.  I got a hat in Harvey Nichols.  It’s very cute and matches my brown coat.  We had dinner reservations for 8:30 at Veeraswamy Indian restaurant.  It was okay, but nothing great.  Marcus’ clients were in the lobby when we got back.  We all had a few drinks together in the bar.  Marcus will go in to work tomorrow and Wednesday.  I think I am going to take it easy tomorrow and venture out more the next day.  It’s been a great trip but I’m tired and can use a day to relax on my own.

October 27, 1998

Today was fun. I walked and walked and walked.  I first went and had breakfast where Marcus and I ate on Saturday morning.  I had the porridge again with tea cakes and tea.  Yum!  Then I walked to Hyde Park in search of Kensington Palace.  I walked forever and saw the Serpentine Gallery.  Weird elephant dung at the exhibit.  Yucky.  I saw Albert’s Memorial – huge and gaudy.  I saw Kensington Palace.  Sunken Garden was pretty.  I took a photo of it and the building, which was not much to look at.  I took a photo of school children playing on the walkway to Kensington Palace.  I walked back to Knightsbridge and shopped at Harrod’s.  I got tea for mom and other gifts for friends.  I also looked a little at clothes.  They were very nice but very expensive.  You can find clothes for less in NY!  Then I walked to JOSEPH.  Mary told me about Joe’s Café.  I had the best sticky date pudding (cake hot) with ice cream in a caramel sauce.  The waiter recommended it.  It was awesome.   I went to Harvey Nichols.  It was just a little too much browsing for one day.  I’m home now.  I am supposed to hook up with Marcus and his clients for dinner.  I’m glad I met them all before.  Better get ready.


October 29, 1998

Dinner was okay.  I mostly talked with Marcus and his business partner before dinner.  I really like Marcus’s partner.  He seems like a very nice man and he’s funny, too.  during dinner I visited with people I hadn’t met.  One of them I swear I met in LA at the Viper Room.

Yesterday  was fun too.  I went to the changing of the guard.  It was cold and it seemed long.  It was not as ceremonial as the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in DC.  Maybe they’ve been doing it too long here in London.  I went to Westminster Abbey.  There was a lot of dead royalty there.  From there I walked to the Thames and went to the Lamb and Flag pub in Covent Garden and had a Guinness and some lunch.  I love the Guinness here!  I walked back through Piccadilly Circus and got some Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz, a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor that my sister had recommended.   I stopped in Fortnum and Mason, a department store that’s been around since 1707.  I got Marcus a scarf.  I hope he likes it.

Marcus and I went to deliver the Twinkies I brought special from the US for one of the client’s girlfriends and I got my haircut.  She is a stylist and did a great job!  It was really nice to chat with her.  Later that night we went to dinner at Scotts.  We all sampled each other’s desserts. Good wine.  I got cranky at the end though.  Too long of a day – and I didn’t even work.  The clients picked up the tab.  Today Marcus and I are off to the Tower of London.  It’s 12:45pm and he’s just out of the shower.  Tomorrow off to Paris…


Deja Vu

Then – October 3, 1998

Life continues  to move forward.  I really thought about applying for another job last week.  Things are slow at work which makes it even more unbearable.  I like the people that I work with, so that helps.

Marcus and I talked about a lot of things.  I’m not sure how it will all work out, but we are doing okay.

Marcus can be so wonderful.  I really liked being with him yesterday just doing stuff.  He can make me so happy, but also so sad.  This week was a good one.  Let’s hope it continues.

Now – Life continues to move forward.  I am really thinking about what I want to be when I grow up (after kids are a bit older and I have more flexibility to work).  Things have been a bit tedious lately and not that fulfilling, but I have a lot of good friends which helps.

Marcus and I have talked about a lot of things.  I’m not sure how it will all work out, but we are doing okay.

He can be so wonderful.  I really liked being with him last weekend.  He can make me so happy, but also so sad.  This week has been a good one.  Let’s hope it continues.

Basically the same, right?  Fifteen years later.  So curious that I have the same sentiments and can basically copy a journal entry from so long ago.  I am feeling optimistic however.  I feel confident that no matter how this turns out, I have a good future.

I can look at him more openly now.  He is good with the kids and really tries to make a difference in their lives.  He is helping me with the dishes and appreciating the effort to make dinner.  It really is the little things that help you get from one day to the next.  Right now I don’t need roses and diamonds.  I just need kind words and loving support.  Can he do it?

Sometimes He’s Like Two Different People

Then – August 2, 1998 Denver was boring.  Our company needs to learn how to train.  Our youth really showed.  I didn’t even get to see much of the city.  What I did see was not exciting.

I am going to get an early bonus!  The check didn’t come so I got a $500 gift certificate.  I chose Macy’s.

My sister is coming this Friday.  I can’t wait.  I’m sure he  will be on his best behavior.  Sometimes he’s like two different people.

I made dinner last night – just salad, bread, garlic spread and poppy seed cake.  It was not  bad for a hot evening.  Marcus seemed to like it, but I never really know.

Why does loving him make me sad?  Is it because I’m not really happy?  Do I feel trapped?  Where else would I go?  Back to California no doubt.  I can’t wait to go visit for Thanksgiving.

It’s so nice here in the park.  You need to get away when you live in NYC.  It’s just way too much cement.  We are off to golf tonight.  I’m not feeling all that chummy with him, but hopefully I’ll play a good round.

He paid for me to get a massage today.  It wasn’t as good as the previous massage, but it was relaxing.    Sometimes I feel guilty accepting things from him.  Will that go away?

Now – I recently got back from a long weekend with my daughter to visit her cousins in Florida.  He was less than friendly when I called him and our son at home on Friday.  On Saturday I smartened up and called my son on the house phone.  I figured if he wanted to talk to our daughter he could call her.  By Sunday he was calling us and even wanted to talk to me when I answered and suggested I get our daughter on the phone.  It’s a small example, but it shows that I have little to do with his moods.  I wasn’t there for three days.  At least his mood improved for our return home!

Some times he’s like two different people.  I am doing better giving him his space when he’s the person I’d rather not be around.  Problem is that when he comes around, I don’t necessarily feel eager to jump back in his space.