I Will Be Fine

Then – June 1, 1998

Have I almost filled this book?  Will I start another?  I think I am soon to undertake new  venture as well.  I really feel the need to continue a journal, but also to write a story.  I just need to decide how.

Today I actually got some errands done.  I need to find a baby shower present.  I got a wedding present for some friends – the cutest cappuccino mugs.  They are so adorable.  I hope they like them too.

I sent some photos to friends and sent my ex-husband a card with a picture on it that looks like our cats.  I hope he doesn’t mind.  I just thought he’d appreciate it.  I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, courtesy of my current boyfriend actually.  I find it interesting that he can comment on my past relationship when really, he has no idea.  He has no right to do that, especially when I’ve been so respectful of his past.  I love him.  Why, when he can be so insensitive?  I sent him flowers today.  I felt bad for snapping at him.  I just need to remember to lookout for myself and I won’t get hurt.  Perhaps this is not the best way to go into a relationship.  Am I ready for this?

I just finished reading earlier entries from my journal.  I’m doing better about looking out for myself – I can improve a ton though.

Now –  I am definitely doing better looking out for myself.  I guess being married for 15 years has taught me something!  I have learned to stand up for myself.  I have learned to be giving even when I’m not feeling that it is being reciprocated.  I am still learning to open my heart even when I am not convinced it will be appreciated.  Most of all I have learned that no matter what the outcome of my relationship with my husband may be that I will be fine!

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